Understanding Male Sexuality with Dr. David Ley
“We say men are empowered to masturbate. But men are empowered to be sexual only in certain ways.”
As a society, we have a gross misunderstanding of male sexuality.
We believe penises are pogo sticks, that men can get hard at any moment—and let’s not even touch men being drawn to the idea of cuckolding.
But where do these misunderstandings lead us? Directly to what we do not want—men misunderstanding women’s sexuality, aggressive sexual behavior, and an incredibly isolated group of humans suffering alone in silence.
Dr. David Ley—a clinical psychologist, sex therapist, and author—joins me for a deep conversation about male sexuality. He shares the common strategy men use to manage their emotions, which they’re then shamed for, the importance of acting on your sexual desires responsibly, how AI is impacting male sexuality, and what replaces the vacuum of sex education conversations for young men.
The biggest takeaway from this interview is that conversations must change. Let’s begin with this one…
Here's what we cover:
What we understand the most and least about male sexuality
Where male sexual shame stems from
What strategy helps men manage their emotions
What cuckolding is and why men desire it
The importance of acting on your sexual desires responsibly
How sexual role models impact men particularly
What sexual integrity is
How AI is impacting male sexuality
I imagine you, too, feel drawn to Dr. David’s work. He packs compassion and empathy into dialogue around masculinity and male sexuality that is usually void of those elements. Yet the lack of them leaves us to detach from such a sacred part of who we are. It leads to misunderstandings, hurt, frustration, and anxiety.
Instead, let us be mindful, responsible, and act within our value system, so we can come together for more of these healing conversations. Share your thoughts in the comments or DM me. Stick with me—we’re gonna work on this together!
More About Dr. David Ley
David Ley is a clinical psychologist, sex therapist and author, based in Albuquerque, New Mexico. He's the author of several books and research articles on sexuality, including his first book, Insatiable Wives, Women who Stray and the Men Who Love Them, which was the first book to examine the cuckolding and hotwife phenomenon. With Justin Lehmiller and Dan Savage, he published the first psychological study of the cuckold fantasy. Dr. Ley is a frequent guest in media around the world, with appearances in the New York Times, CNN and Time Magazine, as well as Hustler and Playboy magazines.
Links & Mentioned Resources
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More about the Sex, Tech & Spirituality Podcast
Ready to rethink everything you thought you knew about sex and the future of intimacy? The Sex, Tech, & Spirituality Podcast is your go-to space for unfiltered, thought-provoking conversations that challenge taboos, decode emerging trends, and reconnect sexuality with spirituality.
Hosted by Kaamna Bhojwani—a certified sexologist, media personality, and thought leader—this podcast gives you the tools and insights to understand your own intimacy, navigate the impact of rapidly evolving technology, and heal from the weight of sexual shame.
By tuning in, you'll gain clarity on complex issues like sexless marriages and infidelity, as well as the impact of AI companions and smart sex toys on human relationships. You'll also gain a fresh perspective on how ancient spiritual wisdom and cutting-edge technology weave together to create our sexual ethos. Finally, you'll benefit from Kaamna's extensive expertise, drawing from her multiple psychology degrees, including a Master’s in Spiritual Psychology from Columbia University and years of experience coaching clients on intimacy, connection, and personal growth.
Whether you’re curious about the future of sex or the past, this podcast is here to empower, educate, and inspire. Join Kaamna on this transformative journey—and discover a world of intimacy you never thought possible.
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